A Tradition 65 Years Later

For the average Jewish family in America, the phrase Mishloach Manot or Shalach Manos is not part of our vocabulary.  Most of us have probably never heard the phrase or know what the tradition behind the phrase means.  Purim for us was the time when, as kids, we dressed up and paraded around our temple or JCC.  Maybe we have a fleeting memory about Purim, not Chanukah, as the holiday when gifts were traditionally exchanged.

For reference, Shalach Manot(s) is the mitzvah of giving gifts of food to others.  It is closely tied to the mitzvah of giving tzedaka.  Read the Book of Esther for the details  As Purim teaches us, among other lessons, the impact of actions of one persons on an entire community can be profound.  The giving of Shalach Manot helps perpetuate the sense of community and interdependence as do so many of our traditions ranging from the requirements of a Bris, Minyan, Wedding, etc….

……….

We have neighbors we’d never met even though we’ve lived around the corner from them for 13 years.  We know they are Jewish from the mezuzah that is clearly visible from the street.  Does the sign in the window say “Jews vote Democratic?”  I can’t recall exactly.  We once met their grown son who had taken over a furniture business from his parents.  It may have been David who told us that his parents were Holocaust survivors.  Or that’s what we recall.  We met David’s mother the other night.  She is a survivor.  Her husband was born here in the U.S.

……….

I learned about Shalach Manos when I received a basket the size of a small vehicle from our new friends Allen and Deanna Alevy.  I learned more as the president of the Beach Hillel advisory board when our director Rachel Bookstein and her husband Rabbi Yonah spoke about putting together baskets to deliver to members of the community who had been supportive of the efforts of Beach Hillel and the Jewlicious Festival.  Over the last several years, we have received baskets from the Alevy and Beach Hillel families, but have never actually given one.  Honestly, even as a recipient of the baskets, I was never too familiar with the traditions of when, where, what, why, and how to do a basket.  It turns out, there really isn’t much to know.

At Temple Beth Shalom in Long Beach, Rabbi Dov Gartenberg and/or others arranged for the congregation to assemble Shalach Manot baskets one evening–probably on Purim.  By the time I joined the assembly line, most of the goodies had already been put into bags and wrapped in cellophane. Part of my interest in making a basket was that I wanted to deliver one.  Actually, I had to deliver one.  Some little voice in my head was telling me to deliver one of the goodie baskets to our neighbors.  I was a bit fearful as I did not know how they might react.  As survivors, did they try to forget most things Jewish?  The mezuzah kind of had me thinking otherwise, but I was uneasy.

As we drove into the neighborhood and passed our street, I told the kids that I wanted to deliver the goodies to our neighbors.  It was late in the evening, and the house was mostly dark.  I asked one of the kids to quietly deliver the bag to the front step.  It wasn’t important to me that the family know that the bag came from us, so I had attached Rabbi Dov’s card.  Then we went home and more or less forgot about it.

……

A few days ago that little voice in my head said it was time to take a walk.  I asked Stefanie if she wanted to join me.  We took the dogs around the first block. Normally we’d go home.  I suggested going around the second block.  She agreed.  A minute later we saw an older woman dropping a letter in the mail box on the street corner and walk back to her house. 

We stopped and introduced ourselves to Lilly.  We spoke for quite a while and learned a little about her life.  As we spoke, Stefanie asked if they remember receiving a goody basket a few months earlier.  Lilly’s face brightened.  She said “yes…and I called the Rabbi to thank him.”  She went on telling us that she had forgotten about the tradition completely here in the U.S., but that as a child she remembers how important it was and how her community would exchange gifts.  She said with her accent “we called it Shalach Manos.”  That was, of course, before they were taken away to the camps when she was 14 years old.

She told us how excited she was to receive the bag of treats.  She brought them into her house and shared the story and Hamentashen with her husband Gabrielle who was very sick at the time.  He died weeks later.  In telling the story, it was so clear that what was for me the simple act of delivering a bag of food, turned into reconnecting this wonderful old woman with a tradition and a community that was stolen from her more than 65 years earlier.  My eyes tear up thinking about it.  I can imagine her remembering her parents, sister, and friends putting together their own Shalach Manos baskets and taking them door to door in their town.

I wonder about the path I took that ended (or maybe started) when we made the late night delivery.  I suppose it could all be coincidence.  But I think I’d rather believe that my first participation in the mitzvah of Shalach Manos was very intentional.

Jewlicious Festival 5

There is a worst part of Jewlicious.  It ends.

The Jewlicious Festival is one of the highlights of my year.  Spending the better part of 48 consecutive hours with the Jewlicious crew means being part of a team of amazing,dedicated, creative, innovative and ultimately tired people. 

Joining the Jewlicious team is really easy.  Volunteer and go do.  And amazingly, people do.  Young people do.  Young people do do.  And that’s really rare in the world of the organized Jewish community.

The Jewlicious Festivals are a model of volunteerism that should be carefully studied by other Jewish community organizations.  I’ve listened as other organizations talk about how they need to attract youth and how they plan to attract a younger crowd.  Most just don’t know how to do it. Others are, I believe, unnecessarily fearful and jealous of the success of Jewlicious.

The irony is that Jewlicious Festivals produces the very leaders and donors that Jewish organizations covet, yet those same organizations seem unwilling to engage and learn from the experts at Jewlicious.

Despite the humble beginnings as a hard-to-explain concept with a funny name, the entire “West Coast” Jewish community should look to Jewlicious as a shining example of what can be done when tradition is broken and funds are reallocated.

Rabbi Yonah and Rachel Bookstein have assembled a global volunteer army who spend thousands of hours building Jewlicious.  The festival constantly evolves to meet the current interests of the students and young people for whom it is created…and who comprise the majority of the volunteers.  

Jewlicious 5 had more than 800 attendees who came through at different times to experience some part of the 48 hours of continuous programming, meals, music, friends, and more..  There is no other Jewish event in our area that does so much, for so many, for so little, with such a diverse volunteer base.

Oh…it’s starting again

So I’m getting ready for my trip to Israel.  This time with my wife and kids coming along.  It’s the first trip for the kids, and the second for my wife.  As our departure date nears, friends have begun asking the same question they always do prior to an Israel excursion.  What they don’t realize is that simply by asking the question they are reinforcing a myth.  By reinforcing the myth, they are spreading FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) and that FUD is always more toxic than truth.

The question, of course, is something to the effect of “are you sure it is safe to be going to Israel NOW?” 

My typical response is generally an emphatic “yes!”  My internal voice, full of bravado reflective of a secret longing to have been “there” and to have taken a role in the formation of our small state, says “and if it’s not, then oh well. I’ll help fight the next fight.” Yeah.  Sure.

At first the questions freaked me out.  What if they were right?  Was it dangerous to be heading to Israel at an unstable time?  Was it fair to my young kids who were remaining at home?  But after returning a few times with all fingers and toes intact, I’m not about to fall for their FUD again.

What you probably already know, is that FUD may be the greatest factor keeping Jews who have the choice from selecting Israel as not simply a theoretical homeland, but a place to live.   Who among us who have roboticly muttered “next year in Jerusalem” have packed our bags and made it so?  And no, I don’t mean for a holiday or an extended vacation.  Or to study…sorry.  Doesn’t count. 

I want to learn more, dig down and figure out what is really going on.  What is the future?  Who will lead it.  Is there anything I can do other than cheer from the sidelines and help my friends keep Jewlicious festivals a fixture for youth in Long Beach and beyond?   I’m hoping on this trip I will have a chance to dig down beneath the veneer of tourism.  Plug me in CK.  Help me.  I’ve seen the sights and heard the history before.  And while I want my kids to hear it for the first time, and I want to be there with them as their pride in their ancestral homeland grows, I’m ready to learn more too.

T-4 days and counting. 

p.s. If you are one of my friends who has offered to pray for our safety…feel free to do so.  Really.  Othewise Instant Karma might play an unintended role.  Now that would suck.

My Part Revisited

So I tuned out for a while.  Not that I’m not interested in all things jewlicious.  I am.  But life came knocking and I needed time to respond.  Last post I must have been knee deep in hunting for a new Rabbi for Temple Beth Shalom here in Long Beach. 

I think my greatest fear during the search was that we would find a rabbi who would be like most other rabbis and status quo would be the word of the next half decade.  But I won.  Victory dance was great and rewarding.  The rabbi coming to town understands what it means to build community.   For the last couple of years he has spent his time bringing Shabbat to the people.  Sounds so jargonistic, but that’s what he did.  Realizing that Chabad’s model works, but that Chabad ain’t gonna cut it for everyone, Rabbi Dov took the next logical step.  Instead of bringing people to the rabbi (and by extension, the shul) Rabbi Dov took Shabbat to people’s homes.  There was a catch.  If Rabbi Dov was going to spend Shabbat in your home, you better make sure he had a good crowd.  The deal was, you bring in unaffiliated people and he’ll teach you how to make Shabbat.  It worked in Seattle, and now he’s bringing his outreach and 20 years of pulpit work to Long Beach.  I think we’re the better for it.  Check out www.panimhadashot to read about Rabbi Dov.

Federation is looking for young Jews

Ok all of you young Jews out there.  Let us know where you are.  Cause it seems as if you are missing.  I just spent a day with the local Jewish Federation leadership.  They are really trying to find a way to raise more funds to do the great work of the Federation on a global basis.  But if you are “young” the odds are that you either don’t know anything about the Federation or don’t care about the Federation.  Why is that?

 It’s kind of ironic that two weeks after 450 of you young Jews rolled into Long Beach for Jewlicious 3 many in our community seem to have forgotten you were here.  When they say that there is some big mystery about how to find young Jews, I can’t  help but scratch my head and wonder.  The Jewlicious team and Rabbi Yonah and Rachel seem to know your address!

 I’m a bit curious.  I also heard that Jewlicious is too Jewish and that you don’t want to attend events, festivals, services, Shabbat dinners or anything else that is…well…Jewish.  The word on the street is that you are either Orthodox or you are scared of what our traditions offer.  Now that thinking confuses me even more.  Doing a bit of basic math…  Jewlicious@thebeach had 100 attendees.  Jewlicious 2 had 250.  And Jewlicious 3 had around 450.  In two years we increased attendance about 400%.   

From my estimates, at least 70% of you at Jewlicious 3 were not from traditional observant families.  And yet, despite your “obvious” fear of anything overtly Jewish, you somehow managed to find your way to Long Beach, park  your sleeping bag on a floor, eat Kosher food for something like 48 hours straight, attend a Shabbat meal and possibly a service or two…and have told us that you plan to come back again.  Please tell me…how can this be? 

So…all of you wandering Jewish youth…the future leaders of the Jewish community…maybe you should let your local Jewish Federation know how to find you.  They miss you.  Really they do. 

Ikar – The spirit of Jewlicious Festival everyday?

I spoke with Rabbi Brous earlier today.  We had an appointment to talk, made at the suggestion of Rabbi Yonah. 

I have to admit, as much as I was (am/will be??) frustrated by the few misdirected individual reactions to Jewlicious, I am energized by Rabbi Brous’s writings, a sample of which follow: 

“If we are to live religious lives of purpose and meaning, we must be willing to take risks, to engage new ideas, to stretch ourselves. We do this not with arrogance, but with deep humility. We do this not because newness is fundamentally more worthy; we innovate in an effort to make our religious lives real, authentic and compelling rather than allow them to become echoes of something that once spoke to our ancestors…”

“…We need to have the courage to say that there is no authentic religious life without a deep sense of responsibility in the world. No longer can we relegate the conversation about the pursuit of justice and human dignity to Mitzvah Day and the Social Action Committee. Our challenge is to make demonstrably clear that decisions about what we eat not only impact our relationship with God and the Jewish people, but also cultivate a gratitude and wakefulness that makes it impossible not to think about those who have nothing to eat. Our unique mandate is to prioritize kashrut and hunger, Shabbat and fair labor laws, the problems of the individual soul and the problems of global poverty. A person’s ritual observance should directly inform her engagement in the world. This is not ethical humanism or liberalism – it’s just Judaism.” 

Rabbi Brous – Judaism, Summer/Fall 2005.  Read it.  http://www.ikar-la.org/documents/JoyAndJeopardy_Judaism.pdf

While I’ve taken the comments out of their context, they give a lot to think about.

It was jewlicious

Dear Rabbi Yonah. 

Here I sit 22 hours after Jewlicious 3 wrapped up.  I’m filled with emotions ranging from pure joy to total frustration and anger.  And yes, it is all due to Jewlicious, so I guess in a way it’s your fault.   

Jewlicious has taught me what can be.  It has changed my expectation of what our Jewish community should be doing for ourselves and for our future.   But guess what?  I’m finally ready to admit that “the Jewish community” doesn’t seem to get it.  At all.  Yeah, there are lights in the crowd who have made it possible for Jewlicious to grow and thrive.  But there is some sort of communal force that seems hell bent on keeping on keeping on, even if that means doing so little for so few. 

Here’s a fact.  In our fair city, the traditional organized Jewish community could not host an event like Jewlicious.  I can only imagine how the planning would go.  There would be a committee meeting to determine what kind of committee would be required to form a committee.  And most members would show up with very serious looks on their face, and talk about what a shame it is that the future of Jewish life looks so bleak and that we really need to do something.  Skip forward two years to planning meeting number ten.  The discussion would be on liability and insurance.  Religious observance, save for a motizie and Kiddush,  would be removed from the agenda so as not to be off putting to the non-religious and non-affiliated students we are hoping to attract. 

Funding.  Ah funding.  Well, we can’t spend more than $10,000 because nobody will support it.  There are no Federation dollars available.  Why?  Well, because the Federation campaign hasn’t materially grown in years, and the dollars are all allocated to the same things they were allocated to last year.  And the year before.  Certainly we can’t ask the community to fund this program, because there are only twenty five active Jewish students at Hillel.  So if we ask twenty families to each come up with $500, we’ll be in good shape. 

Maybe I’m taking an undeserved swipe at the system, as much of our funding has come from people who support our Jewish community.  Those few families who have written the big checks do seem to “get it”.  Alevy may be a pain in the tuchas to deal with, but the man was the catalyst for 100% of what we are doing at Beach Hillel and Jewlicious today.  He was right time and time again.  Allen–you’ve earned my respect and admiration.

I feel betrayed by the system.  And yes, I’ve been a part of it for seven years now.  I’ve done everything by the book.  I sent my kids to the JCC for preschool.  I joined the Federation board and learned what how the community functions…or something like that.  I sent my kids to the local Conservative congregation for Hebrew school as I wanted for them more tradition than Rabbi Laibson and Temple Israel would provide but could not bring myself to allow my daughter to continue in an Orthodox congregation out of a fear that she would not be able to have the experience reading from the Torah at her Bat Mitzvah.   

But guess what?  The system hasn’t worked.  My choices seem to be wrong, and my faith improperly placed in those people who I thought knew how to build community and foster Judaism.  But do you know what is really sad?  My daughter, who you know has a most Jewish n’shoma, has zero friends in her Hebrew school class.  It’s heartbreaking.  To her credit, she doesn’t complain, and instead turns her attention to her studies and towards pleasing her very dedicated and capable teachers. 

So back to the anger and frustration.  Now 23 hours after Jewlicious wrapped up I’m looking at the photos on Jewlicious.  Every picture is full of life.  Jews are hanging, rocking, dancing, smiling, laughing, eating, and holding other Jews.   Some of those Jews traveled across the country to be here.  Others took a ten hour bus ride to join us.  They came, they learned, they ate to excess.  Some slept a few hours here and there.  One or two girls decided to drink too much wine at the Kiddush wine tasting.  One of the guys broke his leg while shooting baskets in the gym.  And some jackass Jews appears to have broken a ping-pong table and stashed their beer bottles along side it.  Guess which of these pieces of the weekend I heard about from the Organized Jewish Community? 

It kills me that we can have the likes of Golem in the building, playing Yiddish music that might just make it into the collection of the young Jews at Jewlicious.  Yiddish music?  Are you kidding me?  College age Jews rocking out to Yiddish music? Anybody paying attention to this? Rav Shmuel’s semi-history lesson with “Protocols” has caused more Jews to ask “what does that mean” than enrolled in Jewish Studies at CSULB.  And rather than congratulating me on how flipping unbelievable Jewlicious has become, I’m getting spanked because a few stupid kids did a few stupid things.   

You know what is unbelievable to me?  Our Jewish community has managed to do nothing for college students and young adults.  Nothing might be too strong a word, but relatively speaking, we are doing nothing.  How many young Jews come to study and learn?  How many find a venue where they can experience a living Jewish community willing to address them on their level, and not expecting them to be like their grandparents?  Why can Beach Hillel, with almost no resources, develop a website and blog that is perfect for students, when the Federation with all of their national resources can’t seem to build an engaging static website?  What other members of our community have taken to the power of blogging?  Anyone else out there got a podcast?  No?  Just Beach Hillel?  Our two person operation? 

I came to Jewlicious to help you and Rachel.  I thought I’d probably be in the way, but wanted to be there for a few hours to show my solidarity and support.  But I got sucked in.  Did I plan to spend the better part of 36 hours at Jewlicious?  No way.  As much as I was there to give, I got in return.  Yeah, I sat in on a few of the sessions and listened to the panelists speak, but got so much more from just absorbing the conversations, arguments, and Jewishness of the festival.  Ask me what I was doing at 3:30 in the morning on Sunday, and I can’t begin to recall.  I know I was at Jewlicious, and must have been doing something to help out, but am left only with the wonderful feeling of being there, and not with the exhaustion I must have felt from being a 40 year old guy running around the building trying to keep up with a bunch of college students half my age. 

But where was the rest of the community?  Not that we wanted an invasion of the geriatric set, but I think I could handle the verbal pounding I’m taking a bit better if the establishment actually knew more about what went on.  I can’t imagine anyone fully appreciating Jewlicious and then effectively threatening to end it by cutting off our access to use the building.  I half expect one of our future relatives to come back to what was once Long Beach, stand atop the rubble pile that is left, and tell their children stories about how in this place, now called Tel Jewlicious, inspired great Jewish leaders who went out into the land and prospered as Jews.